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Bergen County Blogs

IN THE NAME OF LOVE

I was inspired to write this piece by a friend whom is having a singles mixer. I think she is doing a great thing. However, I would call it HOOK UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS! 
There are so many wonderful people out there looking for the Love of their life. Looking for people sans baggage! Look at this stage of the game you should just be happy if they have a messenger bag and not a trunk..

But I am a believer in believing! I believe that your Love is out there if you just have the patience and the faith to believe!!!! So here it goes…



Oh my God! I am so happy! I can’t believe it. I never thought I could feel this way. I am so much in love ~ ~ ~ ~ AGAIN?

How does this happen? I mean at times I suppose that people can misrepresent them selves. But at some point we have to take responsibility for being married to the fantasy. And stop loving the fiction but rather realizing the facts.

You find yourself going from one disaster relationship to another. And you even fool yourself into believing that you learned from the last one. So you create this façade of wisdom attached to your decision, just so your friends will support your madness.
Friends are great like that. Even if they think you are out of your mind they will say. O M G – I am soooo happy for you. Then they will call all your mutual friends and say – OK – are ya ready? She’s in love again!!
Yup and he has all the same qualities that all the rest did…

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not wrong to want to be loved and share your dreams and passions and have a partner that you can build a life with.
But it can’t be with everyone you meet. And it can’t be with people that need fixing and it can’t be with dysfunctional addictive personalities.

As Sonny from a Bronx Tale said” You have three great one’s in your life”! Your first love, just so you have an expectation of things to come. Your second, because now you really know how to make love and have an understand of the meaning of dysfunction.
And you’re third, because you have the wisdom from your past to know that this one will count!
Actually, I paraphrased! Sonny said something like that.


And how many people take the time to really get to know someone anymore? I believe it’s a lost art! And yet how many times do you hear, it was fine when we first met. But after a while I started seeing all these things?. Even when we see a red flag we can turn it into mauve.
Perhaps if you took the time to really get to know someone you would not always wind up in a place where you are hurt or disappointed or worse -devastated.
We just jump right in and like 6 weeks later while you are having coffee with Mr. Goodbar- you look and say ~ ~ what the hell am I doin with this mess??? O M G …….

Is your motive a lust driven proposition? Which by the way is fine if that’s what you want.
Or is it that you just want that Magic & Passion so badly that you make everyone you meet be THE ONE~

Let me correct one thing, it’s very difficult to be devastated. A person that is not a whole entity cannot devastate you. We’d have the option to say, “no thanks”! But we let the externals or the physical manipulate the internals and then create our own non- reality.

And why would we do that! Well, perhaps we feel that we do not deserve to be happy! Nah, that’s not it. Or perhaps we feel that we can always fix them and make it better? Ahhhhhhhhh….

Look - It’s like shopping at a designer outlet and going to the rack that has slight imperfections. You think, Hummmm – If I did this or accessorize with that, this could work…..
You’ll miss the bigger picture. When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them.
Slight imperfections are exactly that! At some point someone will say, “OH-you have a tear in your sweater!”
And you always say, “Really? Gosh – how’d that happen?” 

I understand that Tommy and his shine box might be HOT! But do you want to be married to Da Mob?
I understand that the Holidays ,any Holiday also can make you have bad judgment as well ~ ya know - The Tree, the lights, the tinsel, the BALLS - Yikes…. Before ya know it your bringing home the guy that sold ya the tree. Um – Ma, this is – what’s your name?

Is this just a GURL thang?

Or do Guys go threw this? Hummm – I wonder?
I can hear it now..

Yo Tony – I am so confused, this chick is makin me nutz, I feel so exposed and I am not sure if she really is committed to me? Why am I so vulnerable?
Yo Bobby – look this all goes back to when you was a kid!
Memba your Ma used to take the Cannoli away from you before you could finish it? She played all dese mind games wit chew and now you don’t trust any woman. Minga. I really think she loves ya!


Maybe is it just the Women! Maybe we’ve been disillusioned; maybe we have been fed a host of propaganda. Maybe we bought into the commercialism of love.

We are the ones who believe in all those love stories. “Splendor in the Grass”, “An Affair to Remember”, “The Way We Were”…And for the longest time I am sure some of us believed Lesley Ann Warren really was Cinderella….

Ya gotta believe that your GREAT ONE is out there. But I mean really believe it. 

Now look if Jimmy” 2 times” does show up at your door with some wine and cannoli’s don’t close the door in his face.
I mean ya don’t have to marry him – just leave the gun and take the CANNOLI!
But don’t make a habit out if it!!!
Or maybe it’s premature imagination !!!