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[Gen. Discussion] Bias in the neighborhood
Posted By: BILL
Date: Thursday, 8 November 2007, at 9:14 p.m.
THE INVISIBLE NOOSE
Lately it’s all you hear about on the news. Symbols of evil popping up to express a message of hate or bias. Most times its unclear if the message is directed towards just one person but undoubtedly the message is targeted to a specific group of people. The symbols vary from the “N” word or a swastika spray painted on property, to a rope noose hanging in a visible area. Whatever the symbol, the message is the same. It is hatred expressed in a cowardly fashion, cowardly because the messenger hides his or hers identity behind the symbol.
None-the-less the message hits the target and makes its point. The intended and the non-intended victim get the message because these acts of hatred affect us all to some degree. If we are a part of the target group or just offended by the act itself, there is no escaping the emotional impact the message has made.
Sometimes the symbol is invisible and rears its ugly head in a gesture or a cleverly turned phrase. While these symbols are not as obvious as a spray painted message their impact is still the same. Hate and bias comes though no matter how it is painted.
The following is an example of one of those invisible nooses that was hung in someone’s face recently. Several months ago, my partner, Nelson and I attended a music review by the Park Players at a theater located in The Towers in Edgewater, New Jersey. The Towers is a luxury condominium for seniors, which is quite impressive in its offerings. There are beautifully appointed common areas, dinning rooms and an array of services available to its residents, one of which is a lovely little theater.
So when it came time for Friends for Life to look for a venue for an upcoming fundraiser, I suggested to Nelson to inquire at The Towers if the theater could be rented out. He went to The Towers and was directed to an office where a secretary started taking information and setting up a date to book the theater. The desired date was taken so they were trying to choose another date. The secretary was on the phone with her boss trying to make the arrangements when her boss walked into the office to tie up the conversation in person. The woman introduced herself as Faith and asked Nelson what kind of fundraiser this would be. Up to this point all was going well. He explained to her that Friends for Life works out of the Church of the Good Shepherd in Fort Lee and its purpose is to help people living with HIV/AIDS.
With that said the noose fell from the ceiling. No sooner did Nelson finish the sentence then Faith informed him that she was sorry but they no longer rent to the outside. It hit Nelson like a blunt force but he maintained a civil composure and thanked her for her time and left.
When Nelson retold me the whole story the hurt in his voice and the choked back emotion was very real. Here is a man who volunteers his personal time to help others with a debilitating disease, working out of a church of God, only to have a person of ignorant education hang a noose in his face. His hurt transposed itself to me and through this story will make its impact on the reader with the only intention of highlighting that hate bias is everywhere. From the lower income urban city dwelling to the luxury appointed gated communities, it’s there. The message may be delivered in a polite conversation or an act of vandalism but the message is still the same. It’s hatred and bias no matter what it’s disguised as.
Now its up to us on how we want to receive the message. Do we simply ignore it because it doesn’t affect us personally or do we rise to the occasion and try to uncover the messenger and stop the hatred? Historically when messages of hate were ignored, people were hung from trees in the South or gassed in chambers in Germany during World War II. I’ve chosen not to let that happen to someone I love or to the people with HIV/AIDS that I’ve come to know and love. I have chosen not to let them be hurt or dismissed with a wave of a hand of bias.
It may be a small action on my part to write about this incident and perhaps it will not reach many people but it’s a start to end the madness. If everyone made an effort when faced with a noose to do something about it then the cowards who make these gestures in the dark would stop. We end it or we live with it. I choose not to live with it.
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